"Have you ever had the feeling that no matter what you do, how much effort you put in, no one will stand by you? Specially those that claim to love you?"
This was one thought on my mind, and it kept going through it like a dog after a cat. Time has come and gone, yet no matter what I do nothing seems to work. Regardless of what I do, the sacrifices I make, nothing ever works... No one stays for long. It is I , all alone, the only constant in this existence I call a life. I kept pondering over this for several hours now, the stack of cigarette butts in front of me constantly rising. I lean back, thinking to myself where I went wrong. Was there anything else I can do? Am I such a bastard that no one can ever keep their faith in me?
Going out at the middle of the night, Ryan takes a cab and gets off at Quezon Avenue. His old stomping grounds. God, how he working here. The work sucked, but he enjoyed it like no other person could. Walking a few kilometers (and I really mean kilometers) he continued to ponder while smoking. Once past Araneta avenue, he saw noticed the familiar sights. The closed establishments, the homosexuals-for-hire waiting for their next customer... The prostitutes trying to get the attention of every car that drives by... Here he somehow felt at home. The cold darkness of the night embracing him, like a lover should. A lover that never was.
"Wanna have a good time?" said the prostitute that he happened to pass. The person was homosexual, no doubt. He may pass off as a woman in the darkness, but somehow he can see him clearly. "Come on, it'll be a night you won't forget. Just two hundred for a blow, five if you want us to go all the way..." Ryan takes his wallet out and hands the guy a five-hundred peso bill. "You can use it more than I do, go home an call it a night." The guy takes the bill and tries to seduce him. 'Does he really think I go for gays?' he thought. "Go on, you need to get home." The guys just stares at him as he walks off. He really wasn't in the mood for this. Male, female, or in-between. Right now all he wants is to be held by someone that actually cares for him.
Trying to continue walking off his melancholy, he lights his next cig when he feels something odd. Someone was behind him. Even though he didn't see it, he can feel it well enough to know that it wasn't a hallucination. Slowing his pace, he let the stranger catch up to check if the person will just pass by or else. Instead of passing him, he feels a sharp point poking at his back, no doubt by the person behind him. "Don't make a fuss and you won't be hurt.", the stranger said in a low tone, do doubt trying to intimidate him. If the guys only knew... but he decided to humor the guy, and allowed him to be led into a small street from the main road. No doubt to make sure the any cops on the prowl don't see them.
The mugger poked his knife in threateningly, "no funny business now, or you will get hurt." Unfortunately for him, he didn't know the trouble can get into. "You sure about that?" his victim said. "I hope you have more people with you". Pissed off and high on, well, probably meth, he was just about to show this victim who's boss...
Ryan turned, his left arm pushing the knife aside, with his right hand giving the mugger an open-palm thrust straight to his chest. The mugger staggered back, being a good for or five inches taller than him, went straight at him with the knife poised to attack. Too bad, any other person would've been too scared to react. As it was, he deflected the knife and sent it straight -- to his attacker's chest. Luckily Ryan wasn't that pissed, so the knife only drew blood. But his attacker definitely was. "Come on, where'd you learn to use a knife?" he teased, "my mother can handle a knife better". Pissed off and hurt, and too high to know better, the mugger roared and tried to attack him once more. Ryan grabbed the knife-wielding hand as it came, twisted under the mugger arm, and came up behind his attacker with the arm placed in a firm hammer lock. The mugger tried to get free, but all Ryan had to do was twist the arm a little to get him to stop squirming. After disarming him, Ryan coaxed the mugger straight into the closest outpost and handed him over to the cops, who was giving him strange looks as he came in. He was about to leave when the mugger broke free of the cops, grabbed his knife and tried to stab him... Real big mistake. He simply blocked the hand with knife and delivered a groin kick that sent the man to his knees. Finally he gave the man a Muay Thai knee that knocked the man cold. Then he left before the cops came to their senses...
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Waking up isn't all it's cracked up to be. It was late morning, already late by most people's standards, yet for someone used to working late at night, it was the equivalent of waking up in the middle of the night. He should be cranky, but it was never in him in the first place. Given the fact that his phone was stolen when he fell asleep in the bus didn't help much, either. Still, things went on as usual. It was a good thing he still lived with his mother, or else he'd be homeless by now. The morning was pretty much routine: check mail, take a bath, eat, then start looking through online want ads for a job. Not necessarily in that order. By early afternoon, he was out and about to start looking for a new job. Again.
By early evening he was on his way home, grumbling to himself what an idiot he was for screwing the interview up. He felt that he almost had the job within his grasp, yet dropped the proverbial ball at the last minute. It was tough looking for a job, specially with limited resources, finances, not even a single "connection". It was tough, considering the continuous flow of new graduates, dropouts, and people like him - released and currently looking for a new job. He sighed, trying to release his frustrations with his breath. He really needs a job, and soon. Trying to forget the patheticness of his so-called life, he started on his way home, trying to focus on the next company he was going to try his luck on next...